5 common miscommunications between foreigners and Thais
By Laurel Tuohy September 9, 2016 / 15:25 ICT
[Applied here to Thailand this can be applied globally also.]

All original illustrations: Praew Tansanga

Thais and foreigners communicate really differently. Even if they’re speaking the same language, there’s still lots of room for awkward miscommunication at work and at play.
We talked to Kasetsart University Professor Rachawit Photiyarach, who explained the five most common miscommunications between foreigners and Thais.
From foreigners that think everyone at work wants to hear their opinions to that one Thai friend that wears blackface to the costume party. We’ll explain it all to you.
This is the second time Professor Rachawit, a lecturer on intercultural communications, has collaborated with Coconuts. Last month, he talked to us about the 5 Stages of Culture Shock for Foreigners in Thailand.
You might find yourself nodding your head at some of these scenarios. Maybe all of them.
Hierarchy (Thai) vs. Equality (Western)

Scenario 1: A fresh-off-the-plane foreigner starts an exciting job at a Thai company. He’s been studying some reports, reading the founder’s personal blog and can’t wait to tell his new boss all the ways the company could improve. He’s sure they’re gonna become the best of friends. However, after he spouts his ideas on the first day, he gets the cold shoulder. Now, even the Yakult lady won’t make eye contact with him.
Here’s what went wrong:
In the West, everyone’s voice matters, everyone’s opinion counts and even the most junior of employees can tell the boss he’s wrong. That’s not the case in Thai culture. Here, the boss is rarely questioned and what he or she wants is just accepted without question.
For Thais, being humble is more desirable than being right or finding a great solution.
For your Thai friends, age, rank and social status must be taken into account when deciding whether or not they should say what’s on their minds. The Thai way of doing things is to know your place.
This is a situation where tensions and miscommunications often arise between Thais and foreigners. Thais end up thinking foreigners don’t know their place and foreigners feel like Thais are lazy and complacent when they don’t “catch” mistakes.
Implicit (Thai) vs. Explicit (Western) Communication

Scenario 2: “Yo Chanchai! You’re late to lunch buddy, you look hungry. But do you mind if I grab the last pork skewer?” asked Dave. “Please have it,” said Chanchai, even though he wasn’t sure Dave could hear him over the sound of his rumbling, empty stomach. Dave eats the skewer in one mouthful and walks away thinking what a great dude Chanchai is.
Chanchai hates Dave with all of his soul.
Here’s what went wrong:
Foreigners are taught low-context communication, so this is how they talk. They say what they mean and mean what they say. If they say “I don’t want the pork,” they don’t want it. If they wanted it, they probably would have taken it before you even asked.
They specialize in simple, straightforward conversation with little subtext and expect the same from others.
Thais, on the other hand, use high-context communication. Whatever they say, there is subtleness that foreigners don’t often pick up on. For example, when a Thai friend asks if you’ve eaten, as they often will, they are asking much more than a question about lunch. They’re asking about your day, your health, your appetite and your plans. They’re showing that they care about you.
The trouble starts when foreigners expect their Thai friends to simply say what’s on their mind and communicate in Western ways. Thais often get offended when their foreign friends don’t follow the communication rules. Foreigners are left scratching their head as their Thai acquaintance walks away, embarrassed by, what they consider, an unpleasant interaction.
Conflict avoidance (Thai) vs. Confrontation (Western)

Scenario 3: Prasert and Billy are having a meeting about an important project. After Prasert gives his proposal, Billy just sits back and shakes his head, “No, no, no, hahaha bro. Your ideas are so bad, I can’t believe you actually have a job at this company. You know what? Let’s go get a couple beers after work, and I’ll tell you how I would handle this assignment.”
Prasert hopes that the balcony at Billy’s condo is structurally unstable.
Here’s what went wrong:
Thai people avoid open confrontations. Their culture dictates that conflicts hurt the harmony of a group and that relationships are permanently damaged from confrontations. They also believe that arguing is embarrassing and makes everyone uncomfortable.
Foreigners are raised to think that confrontation is positive and constructive. Disagreements are good for the growth of a work team. They don’t hurt personal relationships since business and personal relationships are completely separate.
This leads to miscommunication because foreigners often think they can confront a Thai colleague and that the relationship won’t be damaged. The Thai colleague will be very hurt and not understand why their foreign colleague is so cruel sometimes yet so friendly other times. They might wonder, “Are foreigners completely nuts?”
Feedback Styles

Scenario 4: Somboon, Brad’s boss, has the difficult task of delivering Brad’s annual review and it’s not good. Not good at all. Somboon delivers this news to Brad in typical Thai-style, quietly offering each piece of horrific negative feedback as a piece of advice. “For example, this client said that you are a rude, incompetent idiot. Why don’t you try a new approach with the customers, such as….” Instead of being humble and apologetic, Brad misses the point completely and slaps his boss on the back, “Thanks, old man, but I think I’ll just keep doin’ it ‘Brad-style,’ the client will come around eventually.”
Brad is fired at the end of the month.
Here’s what went wrong:
The Western style of communication favors direct negative feedback while Thai people find this unpleasant.
The Thai style favors indirect negative feedback. If a Thai friend or colleague has something negative to tell you, they will do it privately and gently. They might try to disguise negative feedback as advice. They might say, “Yes, but, why don’t you try this instead…” instead of “You did this totally wrong.” They try to blur harsh messages.
This leads to miscommunication because foreigners, so used to direct communication, won’t understand that they are being told off.
Thais will be driven crazy when foreigners don’t take what was, in their opinion, a stern reprimanding. To the foreigner, it simply sounded like a gentle suggestion that they felt fine ignoring.
Politically Correct (Western) vs. Sabai-Sabai (Thai)

Scenario 5: Everyone loves a costume party! Sam decides to get super clever and wear an orange motosai driver’s vest as his costume. Isn’t he funny? He snaps a selfie and posts it on Facebook with the caption “555.” He thinks about how integrated he is into Thai life. Then, his buddy Wirat walks in dressed up as Kanye West — in full blackface makeup. Billy walks away, horrified to be seen with his racist and insensitive friend while Wirat is thinking “What did I do wrong?”
Wirat assumes that Sam must not be a Yeezy fan.
Here’s what went wrong:
Foreigners take the concept of political correctness seriously. They try not to cause offense and yet, paradoxically, are constantly offended by more and more things, causing people to be more and more politically correct until they are not sure what is okay to say or do at all.
Thais are less politically correct. They think nothing of saying “You look dark!” as an insult. If the person gets offended, they are told by a Thai not to take things so seriously.
This sabai-sabai (easygoing) attitude has landed Thailand in hot water for its depiction of dark skin tones as undesirable in TV, movies and advertisements. Thai people don’t really see what’s wrong with this. Their attitude is like, “Yeah, whiter is better. So what?”
With sabai-sabai, everything is taken less seriously. This often drives foreigners insane and, to make the situation worse, Thais tend to laugh when they are uncomfortable, making foreigners feel that they aren’t being taken seriously.
To find out more about the professor’s work, check out his Intercultural Guide for Expats and Thais page.

To find out more about the professor’s work, check out his Intercultural Guide for Expats and Thais page.

Reproduced from Coconuts Bankok

Related:
5 stages of culture shock for foreigners in Thailand
See also:
24 East-West Diagram Comparisons

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The five stages of culture shock for foreigners in Thailand

By Laurel Tuohy July 29, 2016

[Applied here to Thailand this can be applied globally also.]

At a recent installment of Random Thainess, an event where speakers talk about their experiences with Thai life and culture, Kasetsart University Professor Rachawit Photiyarach, broke down the five stages of culture shock in Thailand for foreigners.

From “Thai people are the kindest in the world,” to “Why is every Thai trying to rip me off?!” most foreigners have lived through all of these stages during their time in Thailand.

Professor Rachawit, a lecturer on intercultural communications, based his talk on ideas from intercultural scholar Peter Adler.

Adler said that culture shock is an emotional reaction to loss of one’s own culture and misunderstanding of new experiences. He has said that culture shock causes feelings of helplessness, irritability, being cheated, contaminated, injured, or disregarded.

Although culture shock is usually seen negatively, it’s also a great catalyst for learning and personal growth.

You might find some of these feelings familiar. You’ve probably even said some of these lines yourself.

Stage 1: The Honeymoon Stage

Foreigners in the honeymoon stage, or in their earliest days in Thailand, find themselves a little bit starry-eyed and in love with the place.

The tangled overhead cables, the tuk-tuks weaving through the traffic and eating their first somtam on the street all seem amazing. It’s in this stage that foreigners might say: “I wish I could live here the rest of my life,” “Wow, Thai people are so kind” or “Thailand is the best country in the world.”

Stage 2: The Distress Stage

At this point, foreigners have settled into their new homes and some of the shine of the initial romance of living abroad has worn off. They may be starting to see some problems that they were able to ignore in the early days.

Foreigners in the distress stage may feel like they don’t understand or feel at-one with the locals. They may say things like: “Why can’t Thai people just tell me how they feel?” “Why is every dish so spicy?” or “ Why does mai pen raimean so many different things?”
Stage 3: The Anger Stage

Foreigners in the third stage begin to move beyond questioning the things around them and become downright hostile. Depending on people’s resistance, they might stay in this state for years.

Expats in the anger stage might say: “Thais are so ignorant of the outside world. They should follow Western ways,” “Why don’t these people speak English and understand my culture?” or “Thai people are so dishonest, I’m always getting ripped off.”

Some foreigners might even go so far as to say, “All Thai women want my money” or “Why are there so many Thai people everywhere?”

Stage 4: The Autonomy Stage

This is the stage when foreigners finally begin to accept the cultural differences between their old home and their adopted home. They finally begin to feel at peace and, while they might not agree with everything happening around them, they feel they can understand and accept it.

Expats in the autonomy stage might say: “The more differences the better – it’s boring if everyone is the same,” “Where can I learn more about Thai culture?” or “It’s good to know the difference between my culture and Thai culture so I can make a comparison.”

Stage 5: The Adjustment and Bi-culturalism Stage

This final stage is one that many may never reach, but they can continue striving to become one with their adopted country. In the independence stage, a foreigner will learn to speak the local language, have local friends (that aren’t bar girls that are paid to hang out with them) and feel able to cope comfortably in both Thailand and their home country when they return to visit.

Foreigners in the independence stage might say: “I know some Thais are trying hard to understand me, so I should meet them halfway,” “I can maintain my values and also behave in culturally appropriate ways” or “The more I understand this culture, the better I can live here happily.”

Professor Rachawit offered some advice for foreigners about how to cope with cultural differences in Thailand. He said that foreigners should accept that there will always be differences and that they should learn about their new culture while not forgetting their birth culture.

To find out more about the professor’s work, check out his Intercultural Guide for Expats and Thais page.

Reproduced from Coconuts Bankok

See also:
5 common misconceptions between foreigners and Thais

24 East-West Diagram Comparisons

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The Netherlands: The pastor who decided to take Jesus’ words literally

Jan Wolsheimer pastors a missionary Baptist Church in Woerden, a mid-sized town in the Netherlands. “As a Christian the words of Jesus mean a lot to me,” he says. “I study them, analyze them, and try to apply them. If Jesus really meant what he said, I want to take his words to the test, in real-life.”

19th century Danish theologian Søren Kierkegaard once said: “The Bible is very easy to understand. But we Christians are a bunch of scheming swindlers. We pretend to be unable to understand it because we know very well that the minute we understand, we are obliged to act accordingly.”

Provocative words for Jan. “Take the Sermon on the Mount,” he says. “The choicest teachings of Jesus. What do we do with it in our churches? We deal with it as if it’s the best piece of poetry ever written. After church we close the book and continue to live like we never heard these words. So I searched the Gospels for commands Jesus gave that are at their core dead easy to put into practice, yet no-one I knew was doing it. I reasoned: If we have nothing to do with those simple commands of Jesus – how are we ever going to ‘love our neighbor as ourselves’? That is quite a thing.”

‘When you give a luncheon or dinner, do not invite your friends, relatives or rich neighbors’

Jan decided to start with a simple, unambiguous text:

Then Jesus said to his host, “When you give a luncheon or dinner, do not invite your friends, your brothers or sisters, your relatives, or your rich neighbors; if you do, they may invite you back and so you will be repaid. But when you give a banquet, invite the poor, the crippled, the lame, the blind, and you will be blessed. Although they cannot repay you, you will be repaid at the resurrection of the righteous.” (Luke 14:12-14)

“Easy peasy, right? But I don’t see anyone doing this. And I’ve never done it either. A nice test to see whether it all makes sense.”

In preparation for his birthday Jan decided to print an invitation with his picture on it and a welcoming text. He went into town and dropped them into the hands of refugees, street paper vendors, people without money and people with a psychiatric disorder. “I couldn’t find a blind person, but I finally met someone in a wheelchair, so at least I covered the lame part of Jesus’ assignment.”

‘People were enthusiastic, as if they had been waiting to put the words of Jesus into practice’

To remove any barriers, Jan mentioned in the invitation that the guests didn’t have to bring a present, as he already had everything. He then rented a meeting place and asked the folks in his church to give him a hand to prepare a great meal. “People were enthusiastic, as if they had been waiting to put the words of Jesus into practice,” Jan says. “A band spontaneously volunteered to play live music. One lady baked a cake, another made nasi and it all started to come together.”

But meanwhile, Jan was nervous, wondering if the invited guests would really show up.
[Edit: You could involve family and friends as helpers and servers, not invited guests.]

‘The party room filled up with the most exotic characters’

The day of his birthday came, and the party room filled up with the most exotic characters one can imagine. “I had to admit that Jesus was right: you will be very happy when you invite people to your party who can’t return the favor,” says Jan. “A house packed with people who normally don’t get invited to a birthday. It breaks your heart.”

“A lady named Cora came to tell me that this was the first birthday party she was invited to since her youth. Now she was welcomed to the anniversary of the pastor, with an abundance of food and drinks. For Cora this was heaven. And for me too – I laughed and beamed of joy all afternoon, like a monkey on big pile of bananas. How improbably cool this was, and above all how simple.”

For Jan no more ordinary birthdays. “The ‘Luke 14 parties’ acknowledge the Bulgarian street paper vendor with two teeth in his mouth. And the middle-aged woman with HIV as a result of a rather rough lifestyle. And the Palestinian-Syrian refugee who desecrated Ramadan to attend the party. And the regular man in his fifties with a low IQ who showed up an hour before the party on his bicycle, with expectant eyes.”

With which mission of Jesus would you get started? ~ Just to test whether his words are really true.

Source: Jan Wolsheimer
Joel News International 1010 | 10/04/2016

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Spiritual Gifts Questionnaire

This general list gives you a simple way of checking to see what God is already doing in your life. You can identify some of the gifts you see in yourself.  It is a simple self assessment guide adapted from similar questionnaires.  Give yourself a score on each statement ranging from 5 (strong) to 1 or 0 (weak).  Avoid too many with 3!  Then add your scores in the table to get totals for each line.

Your highest scores will indicate some areas of strength or gifting, as you see it.  You could also get a friend to score you as they see you and you could do that for them.  Remember this provides a very general guide.  You are growing, and other gifts or strengths will emerge as you grow.

You could copy or print out this page to use for yourself and others.

 Gifts Check List [Scoring:  5 = strong, to 1 or 0 = weak]

1. I like to affirm people.
2. I am good at listening.
3. I love to explain things clearly.
4. I like talking to a group about Jesus.
5. I sense what God is saying to a group.
6. I enjoy witnessing.
7. I give generously to God’s work.
8. I choose to live simply for the Kingdom.
9. I am good at organising.
10. I have compassion for people in need.
    

11. I often pray with sick and hurting people.
12. I am helpful and adaptable.
13. I like doing things for others.
14. I enjoy having visitors or guests.
15. I relate well to other cultures.
16. I often give a lead in discussions.
17. I usually feel courageous in serving God.
18. I sense spiritual oppression quickly.
19. I have strong faith in God’s promises.
20. I enjoy praying with people.
    

21. I find ways to encourage others.
22. I relate to others easily.
23. I love teaching Bible truths.
24. I like preparing messages from the Bible.
25. I get insights or impressions from God.
26. I love helping people to become Christians.
27. I use my resources freely for Christian work.
28. I give away my goods to help the needy.
29. I plan things well.
30. I feel deeply for lonely people.
    

31. I bring peace to troubled people.
32. I like being helpful.
33. I am active in serving others.
34. I have an open home.
35. I enjoy mixing across cultural groups.
36. I am often chosen leader in a group.
37. I like taking risks for God.
38. I detect spiritual opposition readily.
39. I act in faith on the Spirit’s leading.
40. I see my prayers answered regularly.
    

41. I love building others up, not knocking them.
42. I care about people and like to help them.
43. I like mastering and explaining truth.
44. I find my messages bless others.
45. I get impressions or pictures from the Lord.
46. I have lead people to faith in Christ.
47. I always give more than a tithe.
48. I gladly do without many material goods.
49. I easily set goals and work for them.
50. I relate closely with hurting people.
    

51. I pray for the sick and see them helped.
52. I am happy doing practical work.
53. I see needs and do something to help.
54. I like having people drop in on me.
55. I adapt well to different lifestyles.
56. I put plenty of thought into things I lead.
57. I often speak boldly in Jesus’ name.
58. I have taken authority over evil spirits.
59. I believe in God’s word very strongly.
60. I often tune into God through the day.
    

61. I work at encouraging people.
62. I really care about people.
63. I am patient in helping others understand.
64. I have a strong call to preach in some way.
65. I often get a word or leading from the Lord.
66. I love talking to unbelievers about Jesus.
67. I give gladly to many Christian ministries.
68. I am happy on a small income.
69. I pay attention to details in organization.
70. I like to get along side people in need.
    

71. I take time to comfort and pray for the sick.
72. I help people in practical ways.
73. I am fulfilled when I serve others.
74. I love having people at my place.
75. I enjoy making friends with foreigners.
76. I often delegate work to others in teams.
77. I am willing to stand up for Jesus anytime.
78. I have commanded evil powers to leave.
79. I step out in faith and see things happen.
80. I pray for others regularly.
    

SCORING TABLE

Write your scores for each statement then total them horizontally in the last column.

 1              21               41               61               A

 2              22               42               62               B

 3              23               43               63               C

 4              24               44               64               D

 5              25               45               65               E

 6              26               46               66               F

 7              27               47               67               G

 8              28               48               68               H

 9              29               49               69               I

10             30               50               70               J

11             31               51               71                K

12             32               52               72               L

13             33               53               73               M

14             34               54               74               N

15             35               55               75               O

16             36               56               76               P

17             37               57               77               Q

18             38               58               78               R

19             39               59               79               S

20             40               60               80               T

AREAS OF GIFTS

A  ENCOURAGEMENT ‑ supporting and affirming others

B  PASTORAL ‑ caring for people and helping them

C  TEACHING ‑ imparting truth to help people grow

D  PREACHING ‑ proclaiming God’s word

E  PROPHETIC ‑ revealing insights received from God

F  EVANGELISM ‑ introducing people to Jesus

G  GIVING ‑ spirit of liberality and generosity

H  VOLUNTARY POVERTY ‑ going without for the sake of others

I  ADMINISTRATION ‑ helping plans reach fulfilment

J  MERCY ‑ compassion and care for others

K  HEALING ‑ bringing wholeness to hurting people

L  HELPING ‑ assisting others in their work

M  SERVICE ‑ finding ways to serve other people

N  HOSPITALITY ‑ open heart and home for people

O  MISSIONARY ‑ cross-cultural ministry

P  LEADERSHIP ‑ involving others in ministry

Q  COURAGE ‑ gifted with boldness or authority

R  DISCERNMENT ‑ awareness of spiritual forces

S  FAITH ‑ firm belief leading to action

T  INTERCESSION ‑ commitment in prayer for others

 Here is a more comprehensive list from Paul’s three passages on using spiritual gifts in the Body of Christ

Romans 12:6-8, sometimes called Motivation gifts of God (our Father)

1. prophecy
2. ministry
3. teaching
4. exhorting
5. giving
6. leading
7. showing mercy
   

Ephesians 4:11, sometimes called Ministry gifts of Jesus (to his church)

1. apostle
2. prophet
3. evangelist
4. pastor
5. teacher
   

1 Corinthians 12:8-10, sometimes called Manifestation gifts of the Spirit (to us all)

1. word of wisdom
2. word of knowledge
3. faith
4. healings
5. miracles
6. discerning of spirits
7. prophecy
8. tongues
9. interpretation of tongues

The questionnaire is from Geoff Waugh’s books Living in the Spirit, Your Spiritual Gifts, Fruit and Gifts of the Spirit, and The Leader’s Goldmine.

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